How to be Fine Because of Self Care: 7 Tips to Get You Started

We are so busy.

Plans and expectations seem to somehow govern our daily actions.

I cringe when someone tells me "I am running on 3 hours of sleep!" or "I haven't eaten all day!". I get that it can happen because it definitely does to every one of us but that occasion should be rare. I am guilty of taking on too many projects at work and then had to deal with being overwhelmed. My frustration at that point was self-inflicted because I wanted to be a superhero. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically is more important than ever. We are seeing the buzz phrase "self care" more often now because it's due to the increasing physical manifestations of the effects of neglecting your needs.

Stress can cause effects like migraines, insomnia, and body aches such as chest pain. Stress can also cause a change in appetite, increase procrastination, and increase use of alcohol and drugs. What is vague and sometimes unhelpful is to tell someone to "stop stressing" because it's the tip of an iceberg. It's a lot of us that have no idea how to even stop stressing. The far end of that spectrum is not even realizing we are stressed until it rears its ugly head on someone or something we care about.

My stance on stress is that sometimes it's hard to realize I am stressed because I am a workaholic. I will live in a temporary state of denial when I'm stressed because somehow it may equate to being weak or even attention seeking. So I combat this by incorporating self care.

I don't even have to ask myself "Are you stressed?" if I maintain my self care routine. 

It keeps me grounded and allows me to cut ties with what is making me anxious. It allows me to say "Stress has a current hold on me but I need to remove myself from it for the next 2 hours". Typically, I have decompressed after those 2 hours. What stressed me beforehand has been minimized and I can see with more clarity due to the break I had. You can incorporate self care in your daily life to ensure you maintain your peace. Protect your peace. Take care of yourself first.

Here are my favorite self care tips:

1. Be Alone. Listen to your body and mind. You cannot do this around others. Do not go to a happy hour with a friend to vent and think it's "me time". You need to take a long bath, go for a walk or meditate. The key is to be alone in whatever you do. You need that time to process your thoughts without outside influence.

2. Sleep. This is the easiest and my go to tip when things start getting frustrating or overwhelming. Sleep is detoxifying, improves concentration, and promotes a stronger immune system. You charge your phone when the battery is low. Charge your body. Let go of the opinion that working on lack of sleep is a bragging right. Get your 8 hours.

3. Cook for Yourself. This is the another easy one but sometimes we get daunted by the idea of having to go to the store and cooking a meal for ourselves in the world of Uber Eats. It's very therapeutic to chop vegetables, season and sauté. Cook something simple and make enough for leftovers as meal prep. Your future self will thank you for the time saving effort. Not to mention the advantageous side effects on your waistline and wallet. Let's be real here; your waist line and wallet can stress you out as well. Keep it in check.

4.  Take Care of Your Skin. You are probably thinking "this is really specific" in comparison to the other tips because it technically can be considered something you can do during "No. 1 Be Alone". I wanted to specifically point out the importance of your skin. Your outside appearance greatly affects your mood. Don't go to sleep with makeup on. Make sure to double cleanse during your skin care routine. Use a good moisturizer and drink water daily. Always remember that how you feel on the inside will show up on your skin.

5. Exercise. I don't care if it's a one mile walk. Work your body. Sweat. Physically release toxins. You will never regret a workout. Make that playlist and get moving. You will sleep better at night as well.

6. Declutter. I read "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" a few years ago and it was an eye opener. Your surroundings can greatly affect your mood. Too much clutter or distraction can cause you to feel overwhelmed. Start with one room which I suggest to be the kitchen or living room. Those rooms tend to get more foot traffic and can have random mail piles, shoes, books on countertops, etc. This is especially important when you want to cook but the thought of cleaning the kitchen deters you. Your bedroom is a lower priority because the clutter in that particular room isn't as distracting when you are asleep. Get rid of what you do not need and keep the items that are necessary. Here is a summary of the book https://fourminutebooks.com/the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-summary/ but I do suggest reading the entire thing.

7. Journal. This tip is like looking into a mirror. You will become more self aware if you take a pen to paper and just let thoughts flow. You can process what made it on paper after you feel the immediate release. Once it's out of your head and on paper you will be able to face it and not fear it. Sometimes we do not even want to write out certain thoughts but it has to be done or else you will always feel anxious about it.

These 7 tips keep me grounded and focused because I delineate time for others and times for myself. You have to manage your peace and life expectations. Tips 1-6 are easier over time and become routine. The last tip which is to journal may not always feel natural. I have some writing prompts that assist me when the journaling doesn't flow.

Below are some writing prompts to help you jot down some of your thoughts. It helps with being self aware and facing your anxiety at your own pace. Print out the document below and fill it in or just write the answers down on another sheet of paper. There is accountability and relief when you can write out what is bothering you or heavy on your mind. Once you write out the first step to resolve it; you will do the next step and then the next. You eat an elephant one bite at a time.

I always write out what I'm grateful for and what I love about myself because I need to be reminded from time to time. Self care includes lifting your own mood and state of mind. Do not rely on someone else to be the source of your happiness.

Incorporate these tips daily to care for your mind and body. You will see your perspective change.

Take care,

T. Singleton